Friday, August 29, 2014

Laura Davidson [Carlson]'s August journal 1937 age 22

The Year 1937

Transcribed from Daily Reminder 1924 pages 6 ‑ 44 by Jane Carlson Babcock

     This is the year 1937.
I hope that whose ever reminder this once was will forgive me for using it for my own purposes.  I believe it must be Miss Elizabeth Qualtrough’s.
      I once had a Diary, a very pretty little diary - Bound in brown leather, and a small gold lock.  It is always open now, for the key has been lost for a long time.  But some of the pages in that dear little book never saw a pen, and as I look at the blank pages I wonder what happy tales they could tell if I but had the time to send the pen across the pages.
      And so again I want to put the filled days of years to come down on a page with a firm desire that there will be no blank ones.
      May each day I live be as the diary - with no blank pages.
      First.  I am going back a little.  Two months - and jot down some of the major events.  Summer time is vacation time.  Jennette & I went to San Francisco on the 14th of May, Mainly to see Johny (Kennedy) [3 lines crossed out]  We stayed with cousin Dan, his wife Cissy & their daughter Thelma.  S. F. is a wonderful town, but home looked good.  We got home on May 30 in time to dash from the station to Mont Toronto’s farewell to the New Zealand mission.
      Pearl & Jesse left for an indiffinate stay in Oregon with Miller Shurtleff whose destination was a short distance from Burns where Roland & Lois are making their home at the present time.  P & J. left sometimes between June 1 & 10.  June 15 - A red letter day for me.  My aching thumb of nine years was operated on by Dr. J. E. Tyree and a tumor in the shape of a 3 leafed clover was removed from the bone under the nail.
      Mother, Wid & Edna left for Oregon July 4th.  W. & E. returned following Wed.  Mom stayed.  Lois expecting a very welcomed little one soon.  Mom wants to help all she can.  She left for Vancouver about July 20, to visit her sisters.  Mainly, Jessie Main.  Her last letter discloses that she doesn't believe she is of much help to her sisters in the matter of a reconciliation between them.  But I am sure she is being guided by our Heavenly Father. 
      Ray Hemingway was sent home ill from mission again got here Aug. 1.  Mary Alermand was operated on again Aug. 3.  Visited her Aug. 5.  She is very weak, but looks fairly well.
      Before I start writing from this day forward I have to stop my self, & force myself to write of another Matter.  But no - my eyes are tired after a full days work, my hand is tired, and my brain is a little muddled.  But then, it always is on the subject of life, and love.  I have much to learn about both of these and many thoughts of my own that need expression.
Give me heart tough with
all that live,
And Strength to speak
my word.
But if this is denied me,
Give the strength to live
Edwin Markham

Sunday, August 8, 1937

Before daybreak I opened my eyes.  The room was still dark & very little light was seen thru the windows.  Turned over & was off to sleep again.  Finally roused myself by 8:15 A.M.  Sunday S. this morning & I was 2 minites late for prayer meeting so didn’t go in.  Went down stairs & arranged chairs.  Bro. Schurink was wringing his hands when he came down from prayer meeting.  Ruth Jack was absent - Melba Larsen our chorester & Sis. Harrison our organist were also absent, and when he couldn't see me he was sure he would have to take charge himself.  Evlyn Johnson saved the day by playing for us & everything went smoothly.  We had a gay time rearranging classes in the Kindergarten dept.  Left Sun. S. early & went home to put up a lunch - working 1 to 10.  Bro. S. called for me.  Took me down to see his dressing table in the making.  Very beautiful piece of work.  Just matches a small cabinet he just finished.  Is going to make a bed next.  Had a Dutch summer dinner with them.  Barley, raisins, parsley, mint leaves all cooked in buttermilk.  Very healthy dish, & very good too.  Then off to work.  Bro. S. took me to work.  He has a heart as big as the universe.
      Work was pleasant today.  Laughed & talked with girls more than ever did.  Worked on trouble pos.1/2 hr. even with sore thumb.  Home at 10:30 on street car.  Family got a catt.

Monday, Aug. 9, 1937

Work with a start at 6:15.  Alarm usually goes off at 6:00 & didn’t this morning.  Had plenty of time to get to work.  Tried to get the new kitten & Mix to be friends before I left.  Cat likes to play, but Mix wont.
      Helen met me at noon.  We walked around Z.C.  Mrs. Helen Williams ran into us, & recognized us both.  Gave us such a hearty greeting that it made all the day the more bright.  I must try to speak to everyone I know in like manner.  What a happy world it would be if everyone felt the same as Sis. Williams.
      Extremely tired tonight after coming home eating a bite, washing clothes, taking bath, & ready for bed by 10:30.  Dan & Helen went out to Lagoon. Jennette had mutual meeting..

Tuesday, Aug. 10, 1937

When Jennette & Helen are home they find so many things to do they forget to cook any meals.  I got home at 2:00 P.M.  Helen was putting up her hair & J. was sewing on a dress.  They hadn’t had dinner because they were too tired to fix it.  And they wondered why they were so tired.  I got a letter from Johny today.  I haven’t written since before my birthday & I should be ashamed.  But somehow I can’t make myself write to him.  Mary Olsen is going to Evanston with Shewells tomorrow.  She came over tonight to say goodbye.  I hate to see her go.  We are going to miss her in Sun. S.  Got a letter from Mom today too.  I’m sure she is homesick.  But hope she is having a good time.  (to bed at 10:30)

Wed, Aug. 11, 1937

I wish I wasn’t quite as lazy as I am.  Got up this morning at 7:30 all ready to get so much done, & Helen was still in bed after an evening with D. Romney.  When I saw her still sleeping I “kind of” lost interest.  Fussed around getting breakfast-  My day off.  After Helen got up & narrated her escapades of the night before & was off to town I washed dishes, made applesauce cake.  Went visiting S.S. teachers all afternoon.  Mrs. Mantel showed me all her linen.  Got home about 3:00 finished my white rose solid work pillow slips.  Got a letter from Tom Lefter from Frisco asking me to write to Johny.  Fixed soup & salad & orange punch & cake for supper.  Had. S.S. teachers meeting at Schurinks.  Helen had nother beehive institute meetings.  No word from Mom or the folks today.

Thurs. Aug 12

Went to Oakly tonight with Bro & Sis Schurink, Dale Miles & Leona Spriggs.  47 miles east of here to Bro. Lawrence’s cabin.  We ate too much weenie, watermellon, cake marshmellows, & everything that goes with it.  Had a lovely bon fire.  Home again after eating too much, & very tired.  Hitting the Hay at 10:45.  Goodnight.

Friday, Aug. 13

“Dog day, did they say?”  Anyway its hot.  And am I tired.  Got a letter from Johny again today.  If I had half the backbone I’m supposed to have I would have written long ago.  He is one grand fellow.  It’s just 3 years ago this month since he left our city.  I have seen him about 6 times at brief intervals during the 3 years.  The first time he told me he loved me was in a letter.  But now sometimes he is doubtful, even as I am doubtful.  And yet I seem to always be working for the things we planned.  I am at a loss to know what to do.  Perhaps we couldn't decide anything more definate if we did live in the same city.  I’m tired tonight & have just got home from the ward show (Cain & Mabel) but I’m not going to worry about this triangle.  But I do wish Johny could come here. To bed at 11:00 P.M.  Getting later every night.

Sat. Aug. 14

It’s a beautiful night after the very refreshing storm we had this evening.  I would like to know shy I feel as I do.  Or better still just how I do feel.  Don G. has been on my mind altho I want to forget him.  I force myself to it.  But it shouldn't be hard when he has given me so much cause to dislike him.  But on days like today I seem to be pulled by an evil force.  I can’t explain it.  I only know that I am very miserable when this feeling comes over me.  I feel that I am not much good to anyone, that I am not doing the things I should, that I am not putting forth my best efforts in my work.  Bishop & S. DeYoung were here tonight, gave us a picture of themselves, very good of S. D.Y but not so much like the Bishop.

Sun. Aug. 15

Human nature is a strange thing.  A person usually wants what he hasn't got & what he has he doesn’t want.  Don called tonight about 10:15 P.M. and I felt very good when I could hang up before he could coax me into accepting a date.  I hope that very soon he will stop coming.  He is a very fine young man, and many times I even thought I loved him.  But I know I must stop seeing him before he thinks his life is completely ruined.  Sunday S. was very good this morning.  I attempted to teach them a motion song & they really enjoyed it.  Wrote a letter to Mom today.  Guess she is back in Burns by now.  Wrote to Johnny too, very casually & friendly.  Hope he can write in return in like manner.  Talked with Winnie for 2 hrs. this afternoon.  Her boyfriend is out of town.

Mon. Aug. 16

Blue Monday.  Not so blue but terrible lonesome.  Up at 6:00 A.M. every morning, & to work before anyone else is hardly out of bed.  Home from 12:30 to 4:30 alone. Usually sew or clean house or cook a little.  Back to work, & home again at 8:00.  Tonight Jennette Helen & Dan went to Lagoon with the mutual & I’m home alone again.  It isn't good for me.  I have too much time to think, & sometimes I don’t do much constructive thinking.  Don used to fill many of those lonely hours, & too often I am wishing he would call or take me for a ride.  These thoughts pass quickly tho, & I usually settle down to work on sewing.  I have a lot of it to do.

Tues. 17

Fern Rus baby girl born Fri 13.  Mary Rus Allermand is still in the hospital.  They say she has cancer & will never get well.  And I, in health of body & mind find cause to grumble.
But its such a beautiful night.  One can’t be unhappy.  Another letter from Johny today.  He is still the same.  The dilema is will we like each other after more than 2 weeks?  Is he sure?  Am I sure?  Shall we take the chance?  Would I prove myself as a weakling by not taking the chance?  Are our common intrests the same? -Well, anyway, it has been a happier day because of his letter & that is worth something.  I’m still trying to do a lot of sewing [but I am not any fast enough. ]

Wed, Aug 18

Everything started out fine today but after I got off at 12:30 I went into the Mkt. On 1st So. & Don saw me.  He invited himself & Ream Jones down to dinner.  I knew he was only joking & soon left him & went home on the St. Car.  Winnie wanted to use my pass & I wanted to get home in time.  When I got home Ream & Don were here.  I had a lot to do & was peaved.  Before work again I got angry at Don & Ream took me back. Was 10 min late.  Don was waiting at 7:30.  Went up to see Mary Reas at Holy Cross then went for ride.  Had very enjoyable evening until I was ready to go in.  Something inside of me died.  Don offered his ring to me again.  But I would sooner remain single than marry him.

Thurs. Aug 19

Our S. S. Party was called off.  I spent a good part of morning calling teachers.  Felt sort of dead inside me all day.  Went down & had dinner with Schurinks. Stuffed peppers, fried potatoes, everything very nice.  Came home put up my hair, made lemon pudding for supper, buttered carrots, creamed chip beef.  Rose buds were sent from Colonel flower house.  Sent for the part of me that died.  Didn't even open them.  Took them down to Sis. De Young.  Hope she appreciates them more than I do.  Schurinks & Carlsons came at 6:00 P.M. went up Millcreek & had supper.  It was good to be with people that don’t know how to quarrel.  Got a letter from Mom today.  Wish she were home.  I think she wishes it too.  Bed about 10:00. 

Tues. Aug 24

I've let several days slip by without writing.  I've merely tried to adjust myself to living again.  Wrote a letter to Mom yesterday and also mailed Don’s watch back to him.  I didn't register it. & Wid tried to make me believe it wouldn't get there.  I’m glad I no longer have it tho.  I came home this afternoon & made some candy for the carnival, put pecans on top of it & it looked good.  Stoped off at carnival after work.  Ate 2 hamburgers.  Stan Jones made them & put too much onions on them.  Had ice cream cone & came home.  Jennette wasn't feeling well.  Too much nite life isn’t doing her any good.  I sewed on green table cloth & to bed at 10.  I started pillow slips Pearl & Lois gave me for birthday on street car

Thurs. Aug 26

I’m glad I've got a sister like Helen.  Only I wish she understood me just a little more.  I admire everything she does.  She has taught me very much & I hope I may someday be like her.

Fri Aug 27

Jesse got home today.  Boy were we glad to see him.  Went down & had dinner with Sis Glad.  She is a very sweet person.  I believe she really understands how I feel about Don.  I hope she can make him understand.  There is no reason why I should go with him, & every reason why I shouldn't.  [I got a letter from Johny and wrote a very short note in return.  I do hope I can be strong in all I do and that I will not be small]

Sun Aug 29, 1937

I’m wondering where I’m headed.  Last night I definitely told Don goodby.  I feel as tho I have been a criminal in doing it, but certainly neither of us were getting any happiness out of our association.  I took care of Wids baby last night & today I’m tired.  Am ready for bed at 9: o’clock.  Don’t feel as tho I want to write to Johny only to tell him not to wait for me.  Don’t know what is the right thing to do.  Went to church in Emerson Ward with Don Lund, but couldn't bear to stay to Book of Mormon meeting.  Wonder if I’ll ever find my old happy carefree self again. Wonder if I’ll ever be able to bring anyone anything but unhappiness.  The only thing I can do is trust in our Heavenly Father, & try .

Mon. Aug 30,

By the time night comes I’m so tired I don’t want to write.  On hours off sewed on green tablecloth.  Making cross stitch pillow slips on street car, & have almost one finished.  Bought pan, egg beater, potato masher & other small things for Elaine G. shower after work took them down but didn't stay to the party.  Walked home.  Beautiful night, so cool & quiet.  Dan got letter from Mom, he said a lot in his letter that worried her & its too bad.  I got a letter from Sally K. from [San Francisco] and from Mary Olsen in Wyo.  But its been a full day & I’m dreadfully sleepy.  Bed at 10:55 P.M.

Tues Aug 31, 1937

Pay Day & not half enough money to make the rounds of bills.  But I hope it won’t be long before we are all out of debt.

[Note: daily journal entries continue through September 23, 1937.  To be continued...]

1 comment:

  1. Comforting to know that some days are hard. And fascinating details of personal life! Frustrating boys and all!